How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
