one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
