Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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