No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
false alarm. still invincible.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
