HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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