i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
