Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
