Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
