I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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