i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
