would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
