First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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