you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
