look no pants
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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