so let's talk penis.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
