you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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