this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
