If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
