Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
