I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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