Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
50% drunk capacity currently
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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