Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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