Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
