I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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