Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My feet surprised me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
