the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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