I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
