This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
