But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
