Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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