Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
