The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize