What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
