All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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