I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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