you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
