Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
ok first of all what the fuck
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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