I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
