oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
