So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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