I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize