just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
