I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
