I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
hell yes lets make some ravioli
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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