Fuck appropriateness.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
