Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
