i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
