There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
