She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
