Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
