Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
