Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
