I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Fuck appropriateness.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
